– Russell Wilson volunteers at Phoenix-area hospital to shake bad-boy image
– Bill Belichick uncomfortably thrilled to take question from terminally ill child
– Tom Brady spends entirety of interview berating event’s caterers
– Julian Edelman humiliated after diary is read aloud by Rob Gronkowski
– ESPN analysts Tedy Bruschi, Ray Lewis, and Steve Levy contemplate discussing just what the point of media day is, and how all this pomp and pageantry is really an extension of Americans’ obsession over frivolous things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things before deciding to talk about football inflation
– Stephen Gostkowski points out that a real neutral site would be someplace geographically right between Boston and Seattle, like Fargo
– Seahawks punter Jon Ryan arrives with plastic-wrapped mound of ice on throwing shoulder
– Live-hawk handler waiting in middle of media floor for bird released from top of Seattle’s CenturyLink Stadium
– Pete Carroll admits he’d give all this up to follow just one more Eagles tour across the country in his ’72 GTO, man
– Rookie reporter ridiculed by colleagues for throwing several questions right at Richard Sherman
– Luke Willson fields question on when he and Reese Witherspoon will team up for Legally Blonde 3
– Marshawn Lynch jumps off stage, grabs crotch after completing requisite five minutes of interview time
The Practice Squad 