Kevin Garnett Already Teaching New Young Teammates How To Properly Disrespect Opponents

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MINNEAPOLIS—Speaking to reporters at the team’s practice facility, Minnesota Timberwolves players said that new power forward Kevin Garnett is already teaching them how to properly disrespect their NBA opponents.

“His impact was felt immediately,” star rookie Andrew Wiggins said of the influence Garnett has had on the young team members’ ability to trash-talk and insult other players. “He’s been mother-fucking players at the highest level for two decades, so he knows what he’s talking about,” Wiggins added.

Other players told reporters they were eager to learn what it takes to demean opposing grown men on a professional level.

“Having KG around has really showed me that just calling someone a bitch after I block their shot might work in college, but it won’t in the NBA,” 19-year-old rookie Zach LaVine said. “Every night, you’re facing some of the most trash-talked athletes in the world; [Garnett]’s been a great role model for learning to be ruthless and creative in verbally abusing them,” he continued.

Timberwolves coach Flip Saunders echoed his players’ excitement. “Kevin’s one of the all-time greats when it comes to gritty defense, clutch scoring, or using an opposing player’s wife’s infidelity to get an edge in a big playoff game,” Saunders said.

At press time, Garnett was seen instructing Timberwolves guard Ricky Rubio on the basics of threatening a referee with murder after receiving a technical foul.

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