2014 NFL Draft Prediction

With the NFL draft beginning next Thursday, football fans everywhere are equally full of hope and opinion. Check out The Practice Squad’s predictions of the draft’s first 10 picks.

1) Houston TexansJadeveon Clowney, DE, South Carolina: Clowney’s speed, strength, and relentless pass rush make him the near-unanimous choice as the draft’s top talent, but Houston fans are baffled after discovering that he’s not actually from Texas

2) St. Louis RamsSammy Watkins, WR, Clemson: Rams QB Sam Bradford wishes he was cool enough to pull off “Sammy”

3) Jacksonville JaguarsJake Matthews, OT, Texas A&M: The looming threat of franchise relocation has the Jaguars looking for a shot in the arm, and a big, stationary player who never touches the ball is just the place to start

4) Cleveland BrownsJohnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M: Browns owner Jimmy Haslam calls Manziel’s father to congratulate him and asks if he can borrow the family attorney for a quick second

5) Oakland RaidersMike Evans, WR, Texas A&M: Fans rip Oakland management for reaching for another receiver but calm down after noticing three Texas A&M players have been selected in a row, which is a pretty neat story

6) Miami DolphinsA.J. McCarron, QB, Alabama: Dolphins GM Dennis Hickey trades up to pick the former Alabama quarterback “totally, entirely on [his] free will and definitely not because of some sort of crazy third-party influence” as Nick Saban places a firm hand on Hickey’s shoulder and grins

7) Tampa Bay Buccaneers—Blake Bortles, QB, Central Florida: Bucs opt for the pro-ready quarterback even with Mike Glennon, Josh McCown, and Mike Kafka on the roster

8) Minnesota Vikings—Tom Brady, QB, New England Patriots: Vikings just hope nobody will notice and it’ll all work out come training camp

9) Buffalo Bills—Khalil Mack, LB, Buffalo: The University of Buffalo linebacker is just down the road, so picking him up for games will be pretty easy on gas

10) Detroit Lions—Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, FS, Alabama: Roger Goodell takes a full two minutes to stop giggling every time he looks at the card listing the Lions’ pick’s name


Unhappy Baseball Fans: Replay Slowing Down Game

Image credit: faniq.com

Image credit: faniq.com

SEATTLE—Baseball fans across the country have expressed growing frustration with this season’s expansion of a replay-review system, sources confirmed. Fans believe the interruptions to examine close plays are slowing the sport down.

“When you come to the ballpark, you expect action,” said Mariners fan Nolan Pritchard during a six-minute at-bat in the team’s game against the Athletics today.

“Getting the right call is important, sure, but when it slows the pace of the game, it makes everything a little boring,” Pritchard continued. “I think they’re going a little overboard with it.”

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